“Stop it! You’re hurting me!”

tree cigar 2

Maybe I’m just having a bad day.  And I may even seem to be contradicting myself if you read my past posts.  But there are just too many cigars being produced.  Not only by boutique manufacturers but by the Big Boys as well.  What the bloody F*@k is going on???

Yes, I make my living selling new brands so you would think I’d be in hog heaven, but for the Love of Mike STOP already.  At least wait until you get a foothold into the market with one before you produce another blend.  But NOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  More and more and more and more.  You know what this causes?  Saturation.  And when something is saturated it becomes limp, inedible, unsmokable, an unwanted product that the consumer will slosh through and most likely feel as if surrounded by quicksand without a vine to grab onto to get out.  Give it a break!  Enough already!

What brought this tirade on???  The Spring Edition of Cigar Journal, the one with the down-to-earth C. Eiroa on the cover.

I’m leafing (excuse the pun) through the issue and I see one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight new cigars and on and on and on and on and on 12, 13, 14, come on!  How many feet of linear shelf space does the manufacturer think the shops have?  Uh?  What is the point???

mtm3

Some of the advertised brands are dead. A few have one foot in the grave (Is that another pun?). Others are brand new to the market, the late Mary Tyler Moore in Minneapolis look if you will.  “You’re gonna make it after all 🎜🎝!”  Bull!  You won’t.  It’s too much!

Make a cigar and give it time to ripen on the vine.  Let the brand mature in the market. It’s consume, consume, consume.   More, more more.  Different, different, different.  Stop it!!!  Your introducing another brand does not help!  It confounds and confuses.

(Long pause here.)    

OK, I can feel my heart calming down.  The shaking has subsided.  I’m still a bit headachy but the inner pressure is going down.  I can tell.  Ok.  I’m OK.  There.  The numbness is reverting to pleasant tingling.  There.  I’m going to walk Flo.  Let’s sees, what’ll I smoke. Ah, here’s a new one!

-30-

 

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2 thoughts on ““Stop it! You’re hurting me!”

  1. Fat Old Italian Cigar Man

    Isn’t the increased numbers for new cigars due to everyone trying to squeeze in new brands before the August 2016 deadline? I’ve read that manufacturers raced to get new sticks on the market whether they were ready or not. This way they get them on shelves while they file for approval with the FDA.

    Eventually, they’ll all go away since the FDA has said that if they don’t get to an application (I think they have a year), the cigar is automatically disapproved.

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    Reply

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