“Make Trouble” Makes Grade?

Make Trouble

Perfect example of why you can be disappointed when purchasing something via the internet.  I, being a John Water’s fan, read that he was going to be in Chicago at the Studebaker Theater.  But the event was sold out.  So I did what I thought was the next best thing – I got onto Amazon.com, typed in the name of the book, clicked on it and bought a copy.  How can you go wrong with anything related to John Waters?

You can!  OH, yes you can!

I received the book the next day as promised.  But when I opened the box this tiny, 6 ¾” x 5 ¾” just shy of ⅞” thick, 74-page “book” slides out of its corrugated sleeve.  Now, I’m not saying size matters, but I did think this was a bit ridiculous for, what did I pay?  I think around $11 – no shipping but added tax.

The blurb on the inside, in blatant, bold black type announces:


“From an icon of popular culture, here is

inspiring advice for artists, graduates, and

all who seek happiness and success

on their own terms.”


John Waters

was invited to address

a recent graduating class

of the

Rhode Island School of Design.

This is his speech.


“I should say right off that

I am really qualified to be your

commencement speaker.


“I was suspended from high school, then kicked out of

college in the first marijuana scandal ever on a university

campus.  I’ve been arrested several times.


“I’ve been known

to dress

in ludicrous

fashions.  I’ve also built a career out of

negative reviews

and have been called

the Prince of Puke

by the press.
“And most recently a title I’m really proud of:

The People’s



“I am honored

To be here today

With my people.”

waters back cover

And then the book goes on for 60 some-odd pages with the wit and wisdom of one of the more genuine, deliciously delirious directors of our age.

But was my reactive strike to buy the book a wise decision?  What did I think its pages were going to contain?  I had no idea, but I knew this: I knew it would be worth a look see.  And I was right.

Disappointed?  No.  Surprised?  Yes.

And so goes the game the cigar companies play each and every time they place a special on the pages of their Famous Pages of Cigar Deals.  (It’s a coincidence.)  You really never know what you’re going to get.  But, damned if I was either.  I bought it.  

Had I been able to see it, touch it, leaf through it, I may not have purchased it.  But I did not have that option.  YES!  Amazon provides a next-to-realistic page-by-page look at the tome, but there is nothing like touching, feeling, smelling and then perhaps – purchasing the item.

Does this logic run through the veins of cigar smokers?  Of course, it does.  But The Price Is Right!  And the ease at which I could buy the book was irresistible.  Done.  Done.




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