Cigar deal discussion #267.

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Ok.  Here’s the deal my dear retailer since you just asked me for one.  You promise to purchase 50 boxes of cigars per month from me for a full year, I get the commission – and you pay my mortgage for 12 months.  Then, at the end of the year, if you have kept your side of the bargain, we’ll re-evaluate both deals.  Yours and mine.  Sound fair?

I was chapped today.  I get a phone call from a retailer and he tells me how he’s supporting me by carrying a brand of cigars I represent and he places his order.  He wants X number of boxes plus X free – and could I be sure they are of a specific wrapper. Hmmm.  

So I’m thinking about the audacity, the nerve, the utter shamelessness of his request and I begin to cool down.  Yes, initially I was enraged at the gall this guy had to ask me for such a ridiculous discount.  And, he’s, as they would say, “as serious as a heart attack.” That’s when I started to cool down.  The asininity of the huge percentage he wanted off the final price in no way was commensurate to the number of boxes he was ordering. So, I started to chuckle a bit, but in such a way where this guy was taking my jovial reaction as a positive.  When in reality I had a churlish grin on my face as he continued to justify his right to this size of a discount.  Of course, he couldn’t see that – no face time with my customers on the cell.  None.  Ever.  

Did I propose my deal above?  No.  Do you think he would go for it?  Probably not.  But I had to assuage my tension so I simply told him that he will be pleased with the deal he receives.  It’s all in the delivery.

What is it with the deals guys?  Such a low percentage of customers even approach the discount he wanted.  Do you think this stuff is just piled high in huge stacks in the warehouse waiting for the manufacturer to give it away to the rep?  Do you think we have to bend over every time you say, “I’m supporting your product?”  Not me.  My back is fine and so is my bodily orifice.  

I will do what I can to make you smile.  Period.  You have a choice of appreciating the deal you get or stop buying the cigars.  Sound risky?  Not really.  Think about it.  He’s making money already with whatever deal he is given.  He just wants more.  Will he stop buying a particular cigar?  He might.  But that’s business.  And it can be done in a sane and equitable fashion.  “I guarantee it.”  



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