Thank you, Oscar Valladares, (Leaf, Island Jim, Oscar, Ciseron, AltarQ, My Way, 2012) for your generosity and the opportunity to get the hell out of here for a few days and enjoy the sunshine and your hospitality in Honduras. (Yeah, yeah, it’s a sales meeting.) See you all next week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGKPHFrHVVY
-Irv CigarBroker
Has the proliferation of social media platforms helped or irrevocably harmed civil (cigar) conversations? Please read on.
“In David Foster Wallace’s short story “Good Old Neon”, from 2001, the narrator cannot shake the feeling that everything he does is fraudulent. He tries meditation and therapy sessions, even speaking in tongues in a church. Unable to cope, he commits suicide. There is a faint echo of Wallace’s “fraudulence paradox” in Jaron Lanier’s latest polemic Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now. “I don’t want to be an asshole. Or a fake-nice person”, says Lanier, “I want to be authentically nice.” Lanier balances his career as a public intellectual and fierce internet critic with the credentials of a Silicon Valley guru: he worked for Atari, became a virtual reality pioneer in the 1980s, and is now employed by Microsoft Research. He notes the irony of other insiders queuing up to offer their own “mournful confessions” about the industry, citing the comments of Facebook’s first president Sean Parker: “God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
Thus the beginning of En Liang Khong’s review of Jaron Lanier’s book, “Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now,” in the January 11th issue of the Times Literary Supplement.
Khong goes on to write, “Social media does place a premium on violent emotion, encouraging our inner troll. The conflictual outcomes of mass behaviour become clear, Lanier writes, as social media presses the individual into a ‘pack’, to compete within and with other packs for social status.”
And then he hits us with this postulate, “So it may come as something of a surprise when Lanier suggests that the President of the United States is a victim of social media. Lanier is convinced that an addiction to social media is fuelling the hostile behaviour of Donald Trump, whom Lanier met when he was merely a calculating ‘New York City character.’ If Twitter ceased to exist, Lanier speculates, the President would ‘become a nicer, better person at all hours’. Lanier admits that he cannot prove this. Instead, he appeals to our innate sense of the genuine: ‘Look into yourself,’ he commands. ‘Seriously, are you being as kind as you want to be?’”
Question. Has social media radically changed the way BOTL and SOTL interact? The answer is a clear and resounding, YES!”
No. Social media is not always all that “social.” Individuals and cigar groups may not be as accepting of each other even though the cigar is the common chord – the glue. Social media has become a cover, a shield, a leaden metal barrier that allow some people to become Mr. Hydes without the pressures of a person-to-person confrontation. The world has become filled with billions of text messages going back and forth with no one ever having to be accountable for the words and sentences that are flung at each other.
But don’t take my word for the dangerous position we have put ourselves in by allowing social media to become a Brobdingnagian swatch that has been sewn into the fabric of our cultural quilt – read the book by Mr. Lanier. And while I’m not 100% in agreement with everything he writes, he has begun to peel the onion of what can (?) be a very rancorous form of callous communication – even among the perceived civility of cigar culture.
I am in the middle of testing out a new long-filler bundle cigar that was supposed to cause my body to go into rapturous paroxysms of erotic ecstasy. I’m a third of the way down and so far I’m not grinding my butt into the chair. I suppose it could be the cold temperature in the garage. Even though I have the heater four feet away from me.
Truth be told, it’s not bad. I’m smoking a Maduro Toro. I asked for Habano but received the latter wrapper and Connecticut. There may be a Habano in the lot. I’ll rummage through later. But so far, (my head cocks to the right and back), it’s so so.
Now the price is good. The wrapper is gorgeous for a bundle cigar, and the construction allows for a very pleasant draw. The flavor is tobacco. Which for all intents and purposes isn’t a bad thing. But we cigar smokers have been spoiled to the nth degree with the blends that are coming out today. In short, our expectations are high, even for a bundle cigar.
The ash is weak. Not that that makes a whole lot of difference, but a strong tight ash does have a bearing on my final commentary. Gray in color, a bit flakey, wispy, if I may be permitted to eke out an act of literature.
The volume of smoke is just about perfect. For me. Draw resistance aids this phenomenon. A tad sparky going past the half-way mark. Nice clean burn lines. Proof of the professional construction and fermentation of the tobacco.
I don’t know where the cigar is made, i.e. what factory. I really don’t think it makes a whit of difference in this case. There are a variety of sizes available. Not the norm for bundle cigars. I like that option.
It’s good. I like it. The first third, ach . . . Just another cigar. But this one has potential as long as the smoker has the patience to smoke it to the end. A fine cigar that highlights the flavor of tobacco. Damn the stuffy comparisons. This is a treat.
If you like well-aged tobacco and chose to be economical, this is a fine example of such a smoke. Mind you, this is the Maduro. I’ve not smoked the Connecticut or Habano. But I will.
(Four hours later.)
And I did. Excellent cigars. Every inch.
What do I do when I’m early for an appointment? I prep.
I take out all the price sheets that will be necessary, as well as any ad slicks. Once those are in order, I go through my bag and take out the cigars I will be introducing and place them neatly side-by-side with the bands facing up in a zip-lock plastic bag.
I’m not super early, about 20 minutes. Being ahead of schedule is what I was taught. It’s a sign of respect. So that means I have the luxury of time to light up one of the cigars that I will be presenting – a Nat Cicco HHB Connecticut robusto.
Truth be known, what I’ve just described is the easy part. What isn’t easy is the waiting. I’m not a very good waiter. Ha! A double entendre. Anyway, I begin to draw on this cigar and I’m still amazed at its unique flavor, consistency, burn, and construction. The inside scoop is that the band will change, the box will be replaced with another design, and perhaps this will affect the cost. But that’s all speculation. I can’t prove a thing. All I can prove is that it’s one of the best cigars on the market today. And I have the privilege of representing it.
Time goes by quickly. I get a text. “I’ll be there in 10.” Good. That will put our meeting right on schedule. I like to stay on schedule.
Bingo! He’s arrived. We shake hands. Big smiles. I enjoy this individual’s company. We’re always on the same page. Everything goes well. We talk for about an hour. My internal clock has a patience quotient for sales calls. Though I don’t call them that – sales calls.
The weather has changed. I have a long drive home. The temperature is dropping, and not just because it’s heading into the evening hours. It’s the Midwest. Same shit. Sales will slow as the temperature continues to fall.
So this is it. Glamorous, uh?
What is the relationship between mathematics and cigars? Is there a link? To be fair, we could start with a simple number but I have decided to start with one of mathematics most intriguing integers – π or pi.
The number π (/paɪ/) is a mathematical constant. It is approximately equal to 3.14159. Pi is the ratio of the circumference of the circle to its diameter. Pi is most important because it checks your abilities like patience, thinking process, confidence, and personality. (Who knew?)
The Babylonians estimated pi to be about 25/8 (3.125), while the Egyptians estimated it to be about 256/81 (roughly 3.16). The Ancient Greek mathematician Archimedes of Syracuse (287-212 BC) is largely considered to be the first to calculate an accurate estimation of the value of pi. This is the time you light up a cigar – any cigar if you plan on staying with me.
The first 10,000 digits are:
3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 06647 09384 46095 50582 23172 53594 08128 48111 74502 84102 70193 85211 05559 64462 29489 54930 38196 44288 10975 66593 34461 28475 64823 37867 83165 27120 19091 45648 56692 34603 48610 45432 66482 13393 60726 02491 41273 72458 70066 06315 58817 48815 20920 96282 92540 91715 36436 78925 90360 01133 05305 48820 46652 13841 46951 94151 16094 33057 27036 57595 91953 09218 61173 81932 61179 31051 18548 07446 23799 62749 56735 18857 52724 89122 79381 83011 94912 98336 73362 44065 66430 86021 39494 63952 24737 19070 21798 60943 70277 05392 17176 29317 67523 84674 81846 76694 05132 00056 81271 45263 56082 77857 71342 75778 96091 73637 17872 14684 40901 22495 34301 46549 58537 10507 92279 68925 89235 42019 95611 21290 21960 86403 44181 59813 62977 47713 09960 51870 72113 49999 99837 29780 49951 05973 17328 16096 31859 50244 59455 34690 83026 42522 30825 33446 85035 26193 11881 71010 00313 78387 52886 58753 32083 81420 61717 76691 47303 59825 34904 28755 46873 11595 62863 88235 37875 93751 95778 18577 80532 17122 68066 13001 92787 66111 95909 21642 01989 38095 25720 10654 85863 27886 59361 53381 82796 82303 01952 03530 18529 68995 77362 25994 13891 24972 17752 83479 13151 55748 57242 45415 06959 50829 53311 68617 27855 88907 50983 81754 63746 49393 19255 06040 09277 01671 13900 98488 24012 85836 16035 63707 66010 47101 81942 95559 61989 46767 83744 94482 55379 77472 68471 04047 53464 62080 46684 25906 94912 93313 67702 89891 52104 75216 20569 66024 05803 81501 93511 25338 24300 35587 64024 74964 73263 91419 92726 04269 92279 67823 54781 63600 93417 21641 21992 45863 15030 28618 29745 55706 74983 85054 94588 58692 69956 90927 21079 75093 02955 32116 53449 87202 75596 02364 80665 49911 98818 34797 75356 63698 07426 54252 78625 51818 41757 46728 90977 77279 38000 81647 06001 61452 49192 17321 72147 72350 14144 19735 68548 16136 11573 52552 13347 57418 49468 43852 33239 07394 14333 45477 62416 86251 89835 69485 56209 92192 22184 27255 02542 56887 67179 04946 01653 46680 49886 27232 79178 60857 84383 82796 79766 81454 10095 38837 86360 95068 00642 25125 20511 73929 84896 08412 84886 26945 60424 19652 85022 21066 11863 06744 27862 20391 94945 04712 37137 86960 95636 43719 17287 46776 46575 73962 41389 08658 32645 99581 33904 78027 59009 94657 64078 95126 94683 98352 59570 98258 22620 52248 94077 26719 47826 84826 01476 99090 26401 36394 43745 53050 68203 49625 24517 49399 65143 14298 09190 65925 09372 21696 46151 57098 58387 41059 78859 59772 97549 89301 61753 92846 81382 68683 86894 27741 55991 85592 52459 53959 43104 99725 24680 84598 72736 44695 84865 38367 36222 62609 91246 08051 24388 43904 51244 13654 97627 80797 71569 14359 97700 12961 60894 41694 86855 58484 06353 42207 22258 28488 64815 84560 28506 01684 27394 52267 46767 88952 52138 52254 99546 66727 82398 64565 96116 35488 62305 77456 49803 55936 34568 17432 41125 15076 06947 94510 96596 09402 52288 79710 89314 56691 36867 22874 89405 60101 50330 86179 28680 92087 47609 17824 93858 90097 14909 67598 52613 65549 78189 31297 84821 68299 89487 22658 80485 75640 14270 47755 51323 79641 45152 37462 34364 54285 84447 95265 86782 10511 41354 73573 95231 13427 16610 21359 69536 23144 29524 84937 18711 01457 65403 59027 99344 03742 00731 05785 39062 19838 74478 08478 48968 33214 45713 86875 19435 06430 21845 31910 48481 00537 06146 80674 91927 81911 97939 95206 14196 63428 75444 06437 45123 71819 21799 98391 01591 95618 14675 14269 12397 48940 90718 64942 31961 56794 52080 95146 55022 52316 03881 93014 20937 62137 85595 66389 37787 08303 90697 92077 34672 21825 62599 66150 14215 03068 03844 77345 49202 60541 46659 25201 49744 28507 32518 66600 21324 34088 19071 04863 31734 64965 14539 05796 26856 10055 08106 65879 69981 63574 73638 40525 71459 10289 70641 40110 97120 62804 39039 75951 56771 57700 42033 78699 36007 23055 87631 76359 42187 31251 47120 53292 81918 26186 12586 73215 79198 41484 88291 64470 60957 52706 95722 09175 67116 72291 09816 90915 28017 35067 12748 58322 28718 35209 35396 57251 21083 57915 13698 82091 44421 00675 10334 67110 31412 67111 36990 86585 16398 31501 97016 51511 68517 14376 57618 35155 65088 49099 89859 98238 73455 28331 63550 76479 18535 89322 61854 89632 13293 30898 57064 20467 52590 70915 48141 65498 59461 63718 02709 81994 30992 44889 57571 28289 05923 23326 09729 97120 84433 57326 54893 82391 19325 97463 66730 58360 41428 13883 03203 82490 37589 85243 74417 02913 27656 18093 77344 40307 07469 21120 19130 20330 38019 76211 01100 44929 32151 60842 44485 96376 69838 95228 68478 31235 52658 21314 49576 85726 24334 41893 03968 64262 43410 77322 69780 28073 18915 44110 10446 82325 27162 01052 65227 21116 60396 66557 30925 47110 55785 37634 66820 65310 98965 26918 62056 47693 12570 58635 66201 85581 00729 36065 98764 86117 91045 33488 50346 11365 76867 53249 44166 80396 26579 78771 85560 84552 96541 26654 08530 61434 44318 58676 97514 56614 06800 70023 78776 59134 40171 27494 70420 56223 05389 94561 31407 11270 00407 85473 32699 39081 45466 46458 80797 27082 66830 63432 85878 56983 05235 80893 30657 57406 79545 71637 75254 20211 49557 61581 40025 01262 28594 13021 64715 50979 25923 09907 96547 37612 55176 56751 35751 78296 66454 77917 45011 29961 48903 04639 94713 29621 07340 43751 89573 59614 58901 93897 13111 79042 97828 56475 03203 19869 15140 28708 08599 04801 09412 14722 13179 47647 77262 24142 54854 54033 21571 85306 14228 81375 85043 06332 17518 29798 66223 71721 59160 77166 92547 48738 98665 49494 50114 65406 28433 66393 79003 97692 65672 14638 53067 36096 57120 91807 63832 71664 16274 88880 07869 25602 90228 47210 40317 21186 08204 19000 42296 61711 96377 92133 75751 14959 50156 60496 31862 94726 54736 42523 08177 03675 15906 73502 35072 83540 56704 03867 43513 62222 47715 89150 49530 98444 89333 09634 08780 76932 59939 78054 19341 44737 74418 42631 29860 80998 88687 41326 04721 56951 62396 58645 73021 63159 81931 95167 35381 29741 67729 47867 24229 24654 36680 09806 76928 23828 06899 64004 82435 40370 14163 14965 89794 09243 23789 69070 69779 42236 25082 21688 95738 37986 23001 59377 64716 51228 93578 60158 81617 55782 97352 33446 04281 51262 72037 34314 65319 77774 16031 99066 55418 76397 92933 44195 21541 34189 94854 44734 56738 31624 99341 91318 14809 27777 10386 38773 43177 20754 56545 32207 77092 12019 05166 09628 04909 26360 19759 88281 61332 31666 36528 61932 66863 36062 73567 63035 44776 28035 04507 77235 54710 58595 48702 79081 43562 40145 17180 62464 36267 94561 27531 81340 78330 33625 42327 83944 97538 24372 05835 31147 71199 26063 81334 67768 79695 97030 98339 13077 10987 04085 91337 46414 42822 77263 46594 70474 58784 77872 01927 71528 07317 67907 70715 72134 44730 60570 07334 92436 93113 83504 93163 12840 42512 19256 51798 06941 13528 01314 70130 47816 43788 51852 90928 54520 11658 39341 96562 13491 43415 95625 86586 55705 52690 49652 09858 03385 07224 26482 93972 85847 83163 05777 75606 88876 44624 82468 57926 03953 52773 48030 48029 00587 60758 25104 74709 16439 61362 67604 49256 27420 42083 20856 61190 62545 43372 13153 59584 50687 72460 29016 18766 79524 06163 42522 57719 54291 62991 93064 55377 99140 37340 43287 52628 88963 99587 94757 29174 64263 57455 25407 90914 51357 11136 94109 11939 32519 10760 20825 20261 87985 31887 70584 29725 91677 81314 96990 09019 21169 71737 27847 68472 68608 49003 37702 42429 16513 00500 51683 23364 35038 95170 29893 92233 45172 20138 12806 96501 17844 08745 19601 21228 59937 16231 30171 14448 46409 03890 64495 44400 61986 90754 85160 26327 50529 83491 87407 86680 88183 38510 22833 45085 04860 82503 93021 33219 71551 84306 35455 00766 82829 49304 13776 55279 39751 75461 39539 84683 39363 83047 46119 96653 85815 38420 56853 38621 86725 23340 28308 71123 28278 92125 07712 62946 32295 63989 89893 58211 67456 27010 21835 64622 01349 67151 88190 97303 81198 00497 34072 39610 36854 06643 19395 09790 19069 96395 52453 00545 05806 85501 95673 02292 19139 33918 56803 44903 98205 95510 02263 53536 19204 19947 45538 59381 02343 95544 95977 83779 02374 21617 27111 72364 34354 39478 22181 85286 24085 14006 66044 33258 88569 86705 43154 70696 57474 58550 33232 33421 07301 54594 05165 53790 68662 73337 99585 11562 57843 22988 27372 31989 87571 41595 78111 96358 33005 94087 30681 21602 87649 62867 44604 77464 91599 50549 73742 56269 01049 03778 19868 35938 14657 41268 04925 64879 85561 45372 34786 73303 90468 83834 36346 55379 49864 19270 56387 29317 48723 32083 76011 23029 91136 79386 27089 43879 93620 16295 15413 37142 48928 30722 01269 01475 46684 76535 76164 77379 46752 00490 75715 55278 19653 62132 39264 06160 13635 81559 07422 02020 31872 77605 27721 90055 61484 25551 87925 30343 51398 44253 22341 57623 36106 42506 39049 75008 65627 10953 59194 65897 51413 10348 22769 30624 74353 63256 91607 81547 81811 52843 66795 70611 08615 33150 44521 27473 92454 49454 23682 88606 13408 41486 37767 00961 20715 12491 40430 27253 86076 48236 34143 34623 51897 57664 52164 13767 96903 14950 19108 57598 44239 19862 91642 19399 49072 36234 64684 41173 94032 65918 40443 78051 33389 45257 42399 50829 65912 28508 55582 15725 03107 12570 12668 30240 29295 25220 11872 67675 62204 15420 51618 41634 84756 51699 98116 14101 00299 60783 86909 29160 30288 40026 91041 40792 88621 50784 24516 70908 70006 99282 12066 04183 71806 53556 72525 32567 53286 12910 42487 76182 58297 65157 95984 70356 22262 93486 00341 58722 98053 49896 50226 29174 87882 02734 20922 22453 39856 26476 69149 05562 84250 39127 57710 28402 79980 66365 82548 89264 88025 45661 01729 67026 64076 55904 29099 45681 50652 65305 37182 94127 03369 31378 51786 09040 70866 71149 65583 43434 76933 85781 71138 64558 73678 12301 45876 87126 60348 91390 95620 09939 36103 10291 61615 28813 84379 09904 23174 73363 94804 57593 14931 40529 76347 57481 19356 70911 01377 51721 00803 15590 24853 09066 92037 67192 20332 29094 33467 68514 22144 77379 39375 17034 43661 99104 03375 11173 54719 18550 46449 02636 55128 16228 82446 25759 16333 03910 72253 83742 18214 08835 08657 39177 15096 82887 47826 56995 99574 49066 17583 44137 52239 70968 34080 05355 98491 75417 38188 39994 46974 86762 65516 58276 58483 58845 31427 75687 90029 09517 02835 29716 34456 21296 40435 23117 60066 51012 41200 65975 58512 76178 58382 92041 97484 42360 80071 93045 76189 32349 22927 96501 98751 87212 72675 07981 25547 09589 04556 35792 12210 33346 69749 92356 30254 94780 24901 14195 21238 28153 09114 07907 38602 51522 74299 58180 72471 62591 66854 51333 12394 80494 70791 19153 26734 30282 44186 04142 63639 54800 04480 02670 49624 82017 92896 47669 75831 83271 31425 17029 69234 88962 76684 40323 26092 75249 60357 99646 92565 04936 81836 09003 23809 29345 95889 70695 36534 94060 34021 66544 37558 90045 63288 22505 45255 64056 44824 65151 87547 11962 18443 96582 53375 43885 69094 11303 15095 26179 37800 29741 20766 51479 39425 90298 96959 46995 56576 12186 56196 73378 62362 56125 21632 08628 69222 10327 48892 18654 36480 22967 80705 76561 51446 32046 92790 68212 07388 37781 42335 62823 60896 32080 68222 46801 22482 61177 18589 63814 09183 90367 36722 20888 32151 37556 00372 79839 40041 52970 02878 30766 70944 47456 01345 56417 25437 09069 79396 12257 14298 94671 54357 84687 88614 44581 23145 93571 98492 25284 71605 04922 12424 70141 21478 05734 55105 00801 90869 96033 02763 47870 81081 75450 11930 71412 23390 86639 38339 52942 57869 05076 43100 63835 19834 38934 15961 31854 34754 64955 69781 03829 30971 64651 43840 70070 73604 11237 35998 43452 25161 05070 27056 23526 60127 64848 30840 76118 30130 52793 20542 74628 65403 60367 45328 65105 70658 74882 25698 15793 67897 66974 22057 50596 83440 86973 50201 41020 67235 85020 07245 22563 26513 41055 92401 90274 21624 84391 40359 98953 53945 90944 07046 91209 14093 87001 26456 00162 37428 80210 92764 57931 06579 22955 24988 72758 46101 26483 69998 92256 95968 81592 05600 10165 52563 7567 . . . . . . . . . . . . . adfinitum.
If you got this far you have to be wondering what the point is? And how does pi relate to cigars?
It’s so simple, I’m surprised I have to spell it out. In fact, I just decided not to tell you what the relationship there is between cigars and pi. If you do know just leave a comment.
There is a legitimate answer. You, the reader will just have to figure it out. You’ll feel so good when you do. Euphoria, ecstasy, and excitement will fill your intellectual cauldron. Now go for it.
Is there a key to why one cigar is considered great and another voted as mediocre? Flippancy and an inflated ego will never produce a celebrated brand. It takes skill, talent, practice – those micro differences are so subtle that they cannot be captured or felt or tasted by a person who just wants to blend a cigar. It takes . . . To wit:
********
(If you don’t plan on listening to both links in this essay, you’ve rendered the point of reading this post as moot and you can go on smoking your Swisher Sweets.)
Why are people drawn to watching films starring the actor Anthony Hopkins? The one point I could make is how he is able to develop his character. It is a fact that he will read over the entire script with emphasis on his parts in excess of 200 times. From an interview, “ . . . let the part play through you . . . .”
That’s not to say other actors didn’t or don’t do the same. Marlon Brando is considered to be one of the greatest actors of all time, but far from Laurence Kerr Olivier. When he was asked why he used cue cards, his vitriolic response created his character, “If you don’t know what the words are but you have a general idea of what they are, then you look at the cue card and it gives you the feeling to the viewer, hopefully, that the person is really searching for what he is going to say—that he doesn’t know what to say.”
Brando used the Brando method of acting, but he also incorporated the Stanislavsky techniques. The Strasberg method was not to his liking, quoting, “After I had some success, Lee Strasberg tried to take credit for teaching me how to act. He never taught me anything. He would have claimed credit for the sun and the moon if he believed he could get away with it. He was an ambitious, selfish man who exploited the people who attended the Actors Studio and tried to project himself as an acting oracle and guru. Some people worshiped him, but I never knew why. I sometimes went to the Actors Studio on Saturday mornings because Elia Kazan was teaching, and there were usually a lot of good-looking girls, but Strasberg never taught me acting.” (Wiki)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI2-HNATIhM
Two distinct variables as to how to do something. Yet, both actors are considered two of the greatest. Ergo, you can do something different and achieve the same results.
Take Horatio Cigars and HHB by Nat Cicco. Two relatively unknown brands of cigars. About Horacio Cigars Fine Nicaraguan Cigars. Horacio cigars were first produced in Costa Rica, as the result of a meeting between three aficionados at the dawn of the third millennium. Horacio cigars are extremely well-filled and firm to the touch. Wrappers are rich and silky, applied with great care and rigor.”
And then look at Nat Cicco’s HHB, either the Habano or Connecticut. “Our flagship line, HHB cigars marry a silky, Ecuadorian-grown Connecticut Shade leaf wrapper with a Nicaraguan binder and filler. They reward the connoisseur with a smoke that is robust, well-balanced and full-flavored. Creamy-smooth, with a pronounced nuttiness resulting from their complex blend of the finest tobacco leaves in the region. They come in three distinctive sizes, all with a pigtail-capped head and a foot that is enclosed within the wrapper to preserve freshness. Light of the three. Similarities in size, wrapper, and filler. Both are Nicaraguan. What? Both afford a tsunami of smoking pleasure, both are insatiably satisfying. And both are, as I have said before, relatively unknown. The differences are the subtleties of enjoyment each provides the cigar connoisseur.
Can those subtleties be distinctly defined? The best way is to watch a short YouTube dissection of how Anthony Hopkins plays his role in the new movie, “West World,” that I would ask you to listen to. And compare it with the previous interview of Marlon Brando.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kSGkGKwp9U&t=4s
I know we’re talking about cigars and my example is of two famous actors, but you can readily see that there are similarities between how professionals differ but come up with great individually stylized results – be they an actor or a cigar blender. In short, it is not easy to become good at something unless you work at it and, and . . . have a talent for it.
I have discovered that I suffer from Sedentary Cigar Syndrome (SCS). A very common, yet devastating disease among cigar smokers that causes a cigar smoker to stick to one brand or is reluctant to try a new one. Sadly, most cigar smokers carry this gene whether they know it or not. SCS is solely hereditary. It just needs to be activated. To wit:
A gene is “a distinct sequence of nucleotides forming part of a chromosome, the order of which determines the order of monomers in a polypeptide or nucleic acid molecule which a cell (or virus) may synthesize.” I’m guessing it’s boredom.
In less technical terms, the gene is “a unit of heredity that is transferred from a parent to offspring and is held to determine some characteristic of the offspring.”
In biological terms, (our interest here), the gene is a sequence of DNA or RNA that codes for a molecule that has a function. During gene expression, the DNA is first copied into RNA. The RNA can be directly functional or be the intermediate template for a protein that performs a function.” (Wiki)
Now, you wouldn’t think that a cigar broker would be under such a genetic misfortune if you will – an unpredictable gene pool, considering all the brands he must try. Unfortunately, I have it and it has been sending its sinister signals as it should. It’s formed that way. I can feel it’s biological tendrils slithering past logic.
I found out that I had been damned by this insidious gene by a complete episode of ignorance. However painful this may be for me, this is my story:
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I rep for a variety of cigar brands, among them is “Nat Cicco.” A company that has been around since 1965. Its catchphrase is “Bringing you the finest cigars for over 50 years now!” I ignored the phrase as so many others do today. I mention Nat Cicco to shop owners and you would think I was speaking in Klingon, “naDev yIbej Dun ghom cigars pong nat cicco vIghaj.” (Or, “Hi, I have a great group of cigars by Nat Cicco.”)
The latter company’s first brand was “The Rejects . . . It was the original cigar brand to establish the image of bargain-priced, machine-bunched and hand-rolled medium-filler cigars on the ‘factory rejects’ theme. It was exclusively made for the former National Cigar Company hence the ‘Nat Cicco’ acronym . . . .” (catalog).
But over time the company changed hands and began to promote premium cigars, such as Casino Real, Anniversario 1965, and HHB. I began to rep the latter lines and am doing well with them. But I was concentrating on the 1965 and I felt the need for a change. So I figured, how ‘bout the HHB?
Now I haven’t smoked an HHB, Connecticut or Habano, in some time. But I figured I had better reintroduce myself to the blend if I’m going to show it. So I lit up the gold-banded blend or Habano. I nearly did a classic Jimmy Finlayson double take. (Jimmy was a silent screen star who could make the dead sit up and laugh. If you’re curious about what I’m talking about, click the link that I have below.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dTHaMOz4ws.)
But I digress, When I drew in the smoke it was a sip of heavenly clouds. It was an experience completely saturated with satisfying and exotic aromas, a cavalcade of flavors, the perfect draw and burn. And the ash? The ash was worthy of being called a miniature mystical artisinal strip mining discovery. How can an industry be art? (See Dalí, Koons, and Takashi Murakami. But I digress.)
What had I been thinking? Was I even thinking? Ah, no.
I’ll tell you I had been fixated with all the other brands I represent. I was looking totally at only one side of the coin. I was banking on the sure thing and not the next cigar that might be able to journey to the stratosphere of cigar supremacy.
I mean to tell you, this HHB, either the Habano or Connecticut, are two of the greatest cigars I offer. My view was myopic and I was missing out on the sheer pleasure that I thought I had found with the few other brands that had loaded and locked my attention. Bad mistake. Why? Because SCS had been activated and was coursing through my system at such a rapid and steady rate that I was unable to distinguish top-rated cigars from my other top-rated cigars. A nightmare.
I will admit, my thoughts began to seethe with emotional angst and heated anger. How could I have been so utterly stupid to allow such an affliction (albeit unknown at the time) to scuttle not only my palate but my intellect as well? Known or unknown. I was duped.
So, I have made up my mind to understand that SCS is real. It was the “virus” of boredom that gave this gene life! Yes, once you open the cell doors, they do not close. And it doesn’t have to be negative. For me, it was the most glorious gene to grow and blossom. So all I can say now is ****, *****, *******, and ******* you have some serious competition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2zurZig4L8
“Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream”
–A Day in a Life. Beatles. 1967
And it seems most figure I’m still in that dream. It’s like every guy’s wish – to be a cigar rep or a cigar broker, or a cigar salesman. But once the smokey haze drifts into the blue, it’s not what you may think? You’re dreaming. I’m not.
I began this column to give people a snapshot of cigars and culture and how the independent broker fits in between the two of his or her day. I started out that way and found to my chagrin that there’s more to it than setting my ass down in a leather chair smoking with da boys. Yet, that’s all the customer sees. So I took another tact. I mixed it up with reality, culture and this crazy world we’ve created to try and give a real snapshot of our lives as brokers through my off the cuff and into your face blog https://irvcigarbroker.wordpress.com.
I was at a Chicago Humanities lecture featuring Jerry Saltz, the The New York Magazine’s 2018 Pulitzer Prize-winning art critic, and during his talk, he pointedly made it clear he feels the same way. He taught himself how to write, he taught himself about art, he taught himself how to be totally honest with the reader using some colorful language I might add. And then he emphasized that art, music, sculpting is an all-volunteer army. But if you’re able – do it!
The point is that it looks so easy from the outside. So damn easy that I can’t go over the details because I get so damn irritated just thinking about it. It’s like watching an active abstract artist fling, flip and flail his paint onto paper, and paraphernalia on a canvas surface and overhear some brainless twit whisper, “ I can do that.” Bull shit you can!
So please be thankful we do what we do for YOU! And that includes the store owner, the manager and all the others that work in cigar shops throughout the country.
Are we lucky to be doing what we do? Damn straight we are. Just stop taking us for granted. Everyone. Stop it!
“Next year marks the 30th anniversary of Sandoval’s flight from Cuba. He sought political asylum in the U.S. and he doesn’t think he would be allowed to go back even if he wanted to. “I have no interest,” he said bluntly, during an interview with Tim Greiving of the Los Angeles Times recently reprinted in The Chicago Tribune.
“I don’t want to see the situation that’s going on there. I don’t want to suffer that horrible thing, to see my country completely destroyed. Because the situation in the country is getting worse by the minute. People are completely desperate, people are hopeless. Nobody sees the light at the end of the tunnel, because they cannot even see the tunnel.”
Moving words from Arturo Sandoval, the Grammy-winning jazz trumpeter who was recently asked by Clint Eastwood to write the entire score for Eastwood’s newest film, “The Mule.”
“Arturo Sandoval thought he was being asked to write one song for . . . Eastwood’s . . . film. But when Sandoval arrived at the actor-director’s office on the Warner Bros. lot, Eastwood sat him down, showed him the whole film and said, ‘I want you to write the score.’”
Sandoval said yes without hesitating. “I’m available and affordable,” he added with a laugh.
And the rest they say is history.
This is an essay prompted by the story of Arturo Sandoval to bring to the fore the uneasy truth for Cuban cigar lovers. The reality is that nothing has changed. The Cuban people are still prisoners – as of 2018, under the rule of Miguel Díaz-Canel the president of Cuba – the de facto dictator. (Although The Ministry of Interior is the principal organ of state security and control.) What has changed is the perception that since some of the rules of the trade embargo imposed in February 1962 have been modified and relaxed, the people of the island are somehow freer – but in reality, they are still under strict communist rule.
I was invited to visit Cuba, but I turned the offer down simply because the stars in the sky still shine brighter than the stars in the eyes of the people who are still oppressed by a system of government that has drilled its roots so deeply into the bedrock of this country that they have reached the depths of the ocean floor and wormed their way into the crust of the earth.
So for all those sparkly-eyed Cuban cigar lovers who flocked (and continue to swarm) to the tiny island off the coast of Florida since a few travel restrictions have been lifted, rejoiced at the installation of a Chargé d’affaires at the newly opened U.S.embassy, held parties at the Hotel Nacional de Cuba, felt the cool spray of the waters of Havana Harbor off The Malecón thoroughfare (officially Avenida de Maceo), and smoked tons of tobacco grown in the famous soils of the island – keep in mind that the government has only allowed these visitors to embrace a vision of Cuba its president wanted these giddy tourists to see.
Arturo Sandoval says it best and I quote, “I have no words to express my gratitude for everything that happened to us in the U.S.,” he said. “It’s more than a dream.”
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May all the Cuban people hold onto their dreams and someday enjoy the freedoms Arturo has enjoyed for the past three decades.
Perhaps then the streets of Cuba and the eyes of its citizens will genuinely sparkle once again – everywhere, not just where the powers that dictate say so.
(If you don’t plan on reading to the end, please scroll by. You’ll miss the point.)
I’m at the hospital waiting for my wife’s rotator cuff surgery to become a past experience. Actually, I’m writing this in the hospital’s cafeteria. I just had a freshly cooked hamburger with provolone, tomatoes, and ketchup snuggled between a toasted bun. Add to that a bag of original Harvest baked chips, a 21 oz. Coke, and I’m in the process of finishing a $1.59 chocolate chip cookie.
I’m reading the article “How to be an Artist,” by New York Magazine’s art critic, Jerry Saltz, printed in the 12-9-18 double issue. The subhead he has written, “33 Rules to take you from a Clueless Amateur to Generational Talent (or at least to help you live life a little more creatively.)”
Lesson 1: Don’t be embarrassed; Lesson 2: Tell your own story and you will be interesting; Lesson 3: Feel Free to Imitate; Lesson 4: Art is Not about Understanding. Or Mastery; and Lesson 5: Work, Work, Work.”
This lesson stopped me faster than Lot’s wife when she “looked back (and), . . . turned to a pillar of salt upon the ‘sight of God,’ who was descending down to rain destruction upon Sodom and Gomorrah.” (Genesis 19:26)
Note the top red caption on the photo of Yayoi Kusama, the Japanese contemporary artist. “Even in a psychiatric hospital, Yayoi is prolific.”
In the copy, I quote Saltz, “How many times have you been given a whole career in your dreams and not heeded it? It doesn’t matter how scared you are; everyone is scared. Work. Work is the only thing that takes the curse of fear away.”
2019? Move aside.
IrvCigarBroker 