Monthly Archives: October 2020

Same ‘ol, same ‘ol don’t make no winner.

Photo from YouTube.com

Clay Quinn, a former mover, and shaker in the Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) Bodybuilding division, once said to me “How many times can you write an article about increasing the size of your biceps?”

The fact is even though he was a bit cynical about the sport, he was right.  Yes, there are a variety of exercises one can do to increase the size of your muscles.  But in the end, it’s simply a matter of going beyond what is considered ordinary stress on the body via heavier weights, varying positions, and the number of sets.  Of course, diet makes a huge difference, especially increasing the amount of protein eaten and adding more amino acids to the diet to replace what was lost during the workout.  Consistency and desire are key components to engorging the muscles with blood to force them to grow to outrageous proportions.  Think of the former Mr. Olympia, Ronnie Coleman.  He had a system of super-heavy weights coupled with short sets and then take the day off. 

It’s the same scenario with the cigar industry.  Quinn might say, “How many times can a person read about a cigar?”  It’s a conical bunch of leaves, and when the tobacco is put to a flame, the cigar gives off smoke, an aroma, and whether or not the construction (the exercise) is near perfect, and the proper maturation of the fermented leaves are on point, the end result is the same depending upon the consistency and desire of the torcedor who will make the blend a success.

And so I’ve asked myself, why write articles that are redundant in content and style?  I had a brief conversation with the editor of Cigar Journal as to why he was so hesitant to publish my articles in his magazine.  And he basically told me that my writing is not the norm.  It’s excellent writing (his words) but just doesn’t fit into his idea of what the reader wants.  To paraphrase him, “Why not write pieces that the cigar smoker can relate to, maybe articles that offer the reader tips, or profiles, or the explanation of the process.”  I held back a yawn, I hope at least my eyes didn’t roll to the back of my head revealing my dissatisfaction with his suggestions.

Even so, I’ve decided to continue to write my cigar blog articles in my style and combine them with subjects that may not be “the norm” but actually add interest to the excitement of how cigars infiltrate our cultural influences – be they published or not.  

I’ve also chosen to flap my writing wings in another direction.

Art.

You all may read or see the site because I will publish it on FB, but I’m going to concentrate on drawing my readers to my website, Word Press and LinkedIn.  Those three seem to be where I get the most activity.  Odd considering FB has a plethora of cigar groups.  But this way I won’t clutter my mind by thinking of likes, swallowing whole foolish comments, and breathing in vacuous verbal vapor.  

When I complete the new site (http://www.theartanvil.com) it will be a story to tell.  Of course, other art groups will be invited to read it. Will they show their true colors – perhaps.  But for the time being, I see this as a positive seismic shift; a work in progress with a publishing date in the near future.

Why am I telling my cigar friends about a site that they may never bother to read? Well, maybe there will be fewer cigar posts. I don’t know for sure. But I do know this – I gotta grow – just like Ronnie Coleman, and start building a new readership.

I have a passion to write about subjects in such a way that doesn’t conform to the norm such as James Joyce, Charles Bukowski, Beryl Bainbridge, Pinter, Beckett, Burroughs, and Eugène Ionesco.  And they made it work. Why can’t I?  

Everything will be all right. Guaranteed.

everything is allright

[Chorus 1: George Harrison]

Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze

Well it’s all right if you live the life you please

Well it’s all right, doing the best you can

Well it’s all right, as long as you lend a hand

[Verse 1: Tom Petty]

You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring

Waiting for someone to tell you everything

Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring

Maybe a diamond ring

[Chorus 2: Jeff Lynne]

Well it’s all right, even if they say you’re wrong

Well it’s all right, sometimes you gotta be strong

Well it’s all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay

Well it’s all right, every day is Judgement Day

[Verse 2: Tom Petty]

Maybe somewhere down the road away

You’ll think of me, and wonder where I am these days

Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays

Purple haze

[Chorus 3: Roy Orbison]

Well it’s all right, even when push comes to shove

Well it’s all right if you got someone to love

Well it’s all right, everything’ll work out fine

Well it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line

[Verse 3: Tom Petty]

Don’t have to be ashamed of the car I drive

I’m just glad to be here, happy to be alive

It don’t matter if you’re by my side

I’m satisfied

[Chorus 4: George Harrison, Jeff Lynne & George Harrison]

Well it’s all right, even if you’re old and grey

Well it’s all right, you still got something to say

Well it’s all right, remember to live and let live

Well it’s all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze

Well it’s all right if you live the life you please

Well it’s all right, even if the sun don’t shine

Well it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVjToYOjbM

(© 2020 Genius Media Group Inc.  VERIFIED ARTISTS All Artists)

Social Media Isn’t.

I’ve been watching movies in the garage and smoking cigars.  Ok.  Now you know. The ideas for cigar articles are far and few between. I suppose if I wanted to I could write an article about a cigar or review one – B-O-R-I-N-G.

But with the COVID virus still kicking ass in my end of the union, I’ve been mentally sidetracked and disillusioned about what’s really important and critical to living life.  This epiphany washed over me like a warm, thick liquid shroud.  Power for my pad that I use is at a paltry forty-three percent.  Yes. It still runs, but not smoothly.  I’m smoking an Horacio cigar. A delightful combination of Nicaraguan tobacco not yet available in the United States, and watching, “The Protected Wife.” 

As I continued to watch the movie I became frustrated because the battery power in my pad wasn’t enough to keep the movie running continuously.  I began to think about how important it is to write rather than to watch a grade B movie and smoke a cigar.  The hands of the clock ahead of me slowly hit 10:12 pm and all I had was a punk film and a wonderful cigar, but not an iota of an idea that would hold the interest of my readers – a tough crowd of critics who are not easy to please.  My raison d’être for fleeing Facebook as a major source for distributing editorial content and rebuilding the old site and constructing another, both websites sans Facebook’s reliance.

So I have started another webpage (TBA) that will concentrate on art.   It’s a work in progress and I have to say it’s not easy to come up with new ideas when it seems like all the good ones have been taken up.   (Bubba, you were right.)  But I have.   I liken the new website to my safety net that’s been on my mind for quite some time.  I had to expand my writing beyond cigars and figure out just how to provide my readers with original and provocative content on another subject.

I did so by sprucing up my current website (http://www.irvcigarbroker.com) to include the blog post.   I guess I just got so pissed at the Zuckerberg zeitgeist and the platform’s algorithmic intrusion into how I was wanting to present the content of the cigar blog.  

As a result, I pulled out of all the Facebook cigar groups – save for a few that seem to understand why I write the way I do and why I pick the subjects I chose to write about because the platform(s) has (have) become a pseudo-socialist tool that may not be recognized as such by the majority of its members –  in my opinion.  Maybe, just maybe former Soviet leader, Nikita Khrushchev was right when he said “We cannot expect the Americans to jump from capitalism to communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving Americans small doses of socialism until they suddenly awake to find they have communism.”       

Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with like-minded electrical impulses (i.e. friends) but has absolutely nothing to do with being social.  Its restrictions have become anathema to the freedom people think they have to speak their minds on it.  It seems that this platform has increasingly become nothing more than an invasive toy for Mr. Zuckerberg to play with as he sees fit.  And if you don’t believe me then I suggest you try to share a blog post with a large number (88) of groups all in succession.  Go ahead.  Try it.   

With a hosted website, I can do whatever I wish.  There is no multi-billionaire overlord who can tell me what I can publish or how fast I want to share it.  The excuse that sharing posts to too many groups at a rapid pace goes against community standards is pure, utter bullshit.

My weekly cigar blog will continue to be published on my Facebook wall and page, but not spoon-fed to the groups as I was doing.  It will be the reader’s choice.  No one will be behind the curtain spewing out steam mixed with black smokey flames and an ominous and powerful voice enhanced by a microphone to frighten me away.   

But the question remains, “What is social media?” It’s not Facebook.  What it has morphed into is really the progenitor of a head down, thumb-tapping society that we have allowed to become the reality that’s been accepted with open arms to purposely keep us mired in a fog so those in power, i.e. those with political clout, or the ones with the biggest bankrolls, can just go on doing what they please with impunity. 

A hosted website is a standalone entity.  A Facebook site or page is an intricately interconnected concatenation of comments, criticisms, and conclusions that has nothing whatsoever to do with being social.  In fact, just the name –  social media is a mockery.

The word “social” is described in a variety of dictionaries as “seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable; gregarious. of, relating to, connected with, or suited to polite or fashionable society: a social event. living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation: People are social beings.” (Google)

Facebook does not fit into that aforementioned definition in the slightest, nor are the other so-called social media outlets close to the mark either.  What social is, is the interaction of PEOPLE to PEOPLE for the common good. 

In short, the populace has been bamboozled into thinking that they actually – for a lack of a better term – have FRIENDS on these ersatz social sites.  It’s a puzzling dot-dash-dot modern-day system of communication yes. But to call it social? That’s a crock.   

Renowned cigar personalities for all.

emperor2

Do any of the top cigar makers claim to be the emperor of cigars?  No.  For that title, it’s the public’s place to promote an ordinary individual to that pompous position.  And do they?  Of course, they do.

The idea of an emperor of cigars is a rather humorous idea when you really give it some thought.  But many cigar smokers have placed upon a pedestal their person of choice to be number one.  

Question is what is an emperor?  The dictionary definition is one who is a monarch, the “sovereign ruler of an empire or another type of imperial realm.”  (Wiki)

Would the cigar community be considered an empire?  A secondary dictionary meaning is “an extensive group of states or countries under a single supreme authority, formerly especially an emperor or empress.” Or condensed to a modern-day meaning “ a large commercial organization owned or controlled by one person or group.” (Google)  I suppose if I were to take literary license, the cigar community could be considered as such.  Would you agree?

In a freelance article written by the Classics editor of The Times Literary Supplement, Mary Beard, she expounds on not only what an emperor is but what is most interesting what does an emperor actually do?  To quote from her July 24 essay referring back to the author of “The Emperor in the Roman World,” by Fergus Millar (1977) “ . . . The most familiar image is of one long party, interspersed with off-beat sex, casual sadism, and megalomaniac pretensions of divine power. This is not only the stuff of film and fiction. Many of the most lurid stories come from ancient writers themselves, who told of Tiberius’ unsavoury (sic) antics with small boys in his swimming pool on Capri and of Domitian’s hobby of skewering flies with his pen. ‘Is there anyone in with the emperor?’ a senator, outside the imperial suite, was once asked. ‘Not even a fly’, was the clever (sic), if chilling, reply.”

On the other hand, Beard continues  “ . . . the Roman ruler (could be considered) as an overworked bureaucrat, up by dawn to start working through his correspondence, spending hours of the day adjudicating legal disputes from every part of the empire, burdened with the ancient equivalent of ‘red boxes’ even on his days off.”

So there is a commonality of someone being the “one” who is in complete control.  In our cigar community that “one” individual does not exist in actuality but rather in the minds of cigar smokers.

Some might say, Fuente, Padrón, Patel, or Garcia as the “one” who cigar smokers feel is at the top of his game and rules by brand and not command.  But that would take out some of the newer players that are reaching heights of popularity, such as Oscar Valladares (The Leaf); Johnny Piette (Isabela); and, Ram Rodriguez (El Artista).  All of whom have made remarkable, and indelible marks in the cigar firmament – lasting stars, like the sun.

So it is implausible to give the imprimatur of emperor to any one of those mentioned and so many more left to imagine.  Yet at conventions, appearances, and local events it is not unusual to find cigar groupies waiting and wishing to move near and breathe the same air of JD, RP, or NP.

It takes a lot to move me toward anyone of fame, but as long as the famous don’t let it go to their heads, I guess there is an emperor of the cigar community for everybody. 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD-MdiUm1_Y